I collect dopey things. Since I was a kid and my friend Patsy gave me
a 3x5 framed picture of Disney's Dopey, I’ve loved to collect Dopeys. I once
hand-painted a 3 foot tall Dopey on my bedroom door. I have mostly small statues, including special designer collectibles like china ones made by Lenox and crystal
ones made by Swarovski and plastic ones made by Pez and a few antique ones. They
don’t collect as much dust as the stuffed toys and they take up less space. The non-plush Dopeys are crowded into the china cabinet that most old ladies use to display their Hummel
figurines. I started because I liked Dopey and continued because I had
disposable income. Now I have a cabinet full that will probably, sadly,
constitute the entire inheritance for my schizophrenic heir to fight over.
Somewhere along the line, I
somehow also began to gather some plush Dopeys. I don’t know why because I
consider stuffed toys less as “collectibles” and more as evidence that I acquired stupid stuff I don’t need and shouldn’t leave
hanging around for my heir to build into a bonfire that would be dangerous
because we’ve had such a long drought the entire state could go up like a pile
of stuffed toys doused with gasoline.
Also because I’m sure somebody on eBay
who has more room and more disposable income would be delighted to pay me $20
plush (sic) shipping to leave for their own disgusted heirs to dispose of.
Once I am united with that dopey
buyer through the magic of the internets I will have fewer blessings to dust, and I will be perfectly content with that.
