Wednesday, October 01, 2014

Time to Make Donuts

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
  – Groucho Marx

What kind of post could evolve from this epigram? The consolidated wisdom in those two sentences has the density of a black hole, and nothing clever can escape the event horizon.

So, instead of giving into my feelings of philosophical inadequacy, I’ve been thinking I need to renew my lawyer’s ticket. The state where I live requires that to practice law you have to be a member of the bar association. I stopped paying my dues circa ten years ago when I retired, so there're some back dues and late fees to consider. And what about continuing legal education requirements? The definition of privacy has certainly changed from the good old days.

I know folks with marriage problems, and with landlord-tenant problems that, to be modest, I could hardly make worse.

I’m hearing horror stories from my relative about her attempts to get a divorce and how the respondent has yet to appear and meanwhile she’s trapped in an expensive limbo while the interlocutory order is waiting for a hearing about a disputed issue regarding how long the couple has been living together as a married couple and that’s waiting on a hearing to schedule the hearing and that’s waiting for either the respondent or his lawyer to show up. Meanwhile, petitioner’s attorney is evidently asleep at the wheel, leaving the petitioner… 

Upon consideration, who cares? There should be some minimum requirement for the party with the most to lose to make at least a halfhearted attempt to understand the process and know wtf is going on. But there isn’t. And while stupid isn’t against the law, it’s against the commandments of my religion. Specifically: god don’t help them what don’t help theirselves. 

Besides, time flies. On the scale of the universe, our lifespans are as long as fruit flies. So, to say life is too short to own problems created and/or exacerbated by other people, is, well to embrace loquacity over brevity. More better to say: Time to make donuts.

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