Thursday, May 23, 2013

And Now for Something Completely Different


Some writers make their readers feel
Provided with a good square meal,
While others – such a task is mine –
Supply the walnuts and the wine.
A sip of truth – the merest smack,
A pinch of salt, a nut to crack.
            -           Charles E. Benham, Jottings

Today’s sip of truth:  My fondest wish is to provide kazoo lessons for all my friends. And although it’s true that what is generally accepted as good taste involves subjective evaluation, I have a superpower that enables me, with perfect objectivity, to identify manifestations of bad taste. A kazoo marching band playing “Hard Times Come Again No More” would be a sublime expression of exquisite good taste, or my name’s not Charles Bonnet.

The merest smack: The first thing on my to-do list today is can the amazing roasted tomato sauce I made yesterday. Lunch is somewhere in the middle – a good square meal. The last thing on the list is to obtain enlightenment. My list is organized in order of importance.

A pinch of salt:  In 1830 William Hazlitt said “without the aid of prejudice and custom, I should not be able to find my way across the room; nor know how to conduct myself in any circumstances, nor what to feel in any relation of life.” It’s like good manners attacked common sense and wrestled it to the ground.

A nut to crack: I have accepted the monumental challenge of trying to craft a coherent sentence about personal hygiene that includes the phrases “splendid nonchalance” and “smoking hole in the ground”. Wait! I just did!

3 comments:

Martha in Michigan said...

Speaking of kazoos, I have played one in Carnegie Hall. Also sang and danced there. Did zero practice for any of that. Granted, it was in the aisle before Val's SB played, but I came prepared for the opportunity, as Leil is my witness.

Maya - PhD by Publication said...

Wow, kazoo lessons? That would be brilliant! I’m very eager to be one of your students if ever you pursue your dream. I believe many will support you on that, don’t you think? Well, I wish you success and don’t think it’s just a wish. If you aim it, you can have it! God Bless!

Maya from Online PhD UK

Natalie said...

Being different once in a while is a very good idea..