Some writers make their readers feel
Provided with a good square meal,
While others – such a task is mine –
Supply the walnuts and the wine.
A sip of truth – the merest smack,
A pinch of salt, a nut to crack.
- Charles E. Benham, Jottings
Today’s sip of truth:
My fondest wish is to provide kazoo lessons for all my friends. And
although it’s true that what is generally accepted as good taste involves
subjective evaluation, I have a superpower that enables me, with perfect
objectivity, to identify manifestations of bad taste. A kazoo marching band
playing “Hard Times Come Again No More” would be a sublime expression of
exquisite good taste, or my name’s not Charles Bonnet.
The merest smack: The first thing on my to-do list today is
can the amazing roasted tomato sauce I made yesterday. Lunch is somewhere in
the middle – a good square meal. The last thing on the list is to obtain
enlightenment. My list is organized in order of importance.
A pinch of salt: In
1830 William Hazlitt said “without the aid of prejudice and custom, I should
not be able to find my way across the room; nor know how to conduct myself in
any circumstances, nor what to feel in any relation of life.” It’s like good manners
attacked common sense and wrestled it to the ground.
A nut to crack: I have accepted the monumental challenge of
trying to craft a coherent sentence about personal hygiene that includes the
phrases “splendid nonchalance” and “smoking hole in the ground”. Wait! I just
did!
