“I used to be offended, but now I’m just amused.” Elvis Costello, The Angels Want to Wear My Red Shoes
“Whatever you say, someone will take offense. And to that I say, offense is taken, not given. It’s up to you whether you’re offended. And I’ll add one more thing: Just because you’re offended, doesn’t mean you’re right.” Ricky Gervais
What offends me today:
1. We elected as Vice President Spiro Agnew who once said, “With all it faults, the Unites States is still the greatest nation in the country.” - which doesn’t offend so much as dismay. What’s offensive is that it’s just now that the UN Global Commission on Elections, Democracy and Security has noticed that the election system in the US “have left it struggling to restore the public's confidence in its elected officials to act in their interest”
2. Local protestors, offended by a billboard recently forced its removal. The offending commercial message was from an eyeglass store, and it said, “We want to sit on your face”. So much for American respect for free speech. The billboard was replaced by one saying “Happiness is Coming”. So much for having the last laugh.
3. Some people cheat at Rubik's Cube by painting each face of the cube a solid color, and some people think that all mind-altering drugs are bad, although in fairness, probably not the same people.
4. Idiots, e.g.: humorless people who confuse humor with insult; people who are as oblivious about the concept of cause and effect as a four-year-old sticking a fork in a toaster; people with the initiative of a pan of bacon grease left on the stove to congeal; people with the maturity of a powder blue prom tuxedo with 6” wide lapels; people with the mental clarity of a pan of bacon grease left on the stove to congeal; people who flush their pet alligators down the toilet; people who confuse election of the candidate they oppose with the end of the world as we know it
5. People who buy alligators as pets