Split Decision

"Thought you were gettin' the best of me

Floatin' like a butterfly, stingin' like a bee

Thought a good fight would get it out of our system

But we walked away with a split decision…

I did my best to roll with the punches

You wore me out with fakin' and a-duckin'

Almost put me outta commission

But we walked away with a split decision

Split decision

Split decision

Everbody losin' and nobody winnin'

Just too tough, I had enough

Nobody oughta hafta fight for love"

 - Bonnie Raitt, Split Decision

Our amazing legislators pulled a rabbit out of a hat last night: half dead and missing his ears. But still, a rabbit. The title of this post is in honor of their remarkable display of negotiating skills. Based on my own professional experience as a negotiator, I evaluate at their negotiating skills to be at the approximate level of third graders fighting over the basketball at recess. I would not fathom a guess as to what amazing feats they have in store for us in the coming months.

I do however, have a final few prophecies for the coming year. I return to the War on Women.

#102.  Men will declare victory in the War on Women and go home.

I hope that this prediction comes true because it’s not funny any more. I hope in 2013 that more men will approach their personal responsibility to end the war on women less casually than a homophobic elected official requests a private lap dance in a Gentlemen’s club. I hope men will wake up and speak up. Nobody ought to have to fight for love.

#3. No substantive gun control legislation will pass anywhere.

Despite my cautious optimism that good men will help to end the the War Against Women, I predict that many other (mostly) men will continue to blame everybody else for an average 33 gun related homicides that will continue to be committed each day this year, as was the case in 2005-2010.

#1984.  Gender equality sooner or later

If some men continue to impose their primitive and violent beliefs on women for their own good, and if women don’t rise up in 2013 to oppose them, I predict that their daughters will. It doesn’t take the talent of a Delphic Oracle to foretell that they have much more to lose.